Book Club
The Fishful ThinkingSM book club is a great way to learn about parenting, optimism and more while sharing stories and experiences with your closest friends. After reading the book, use the questions outlined below to further guide your discussion.
The current book club selection is:
The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life's Hurdles
By: Karen Reivich, Ph.D. and Andrew Shatté, Ph.D.
One way to help your children develop the skills of resilience and optimism is to further develop these skills ourselves. The more we, as parents, model optimism and resilience, the more we will cultivate optimism and resilience in our children. But, let's face it, being a parent—although rewarding—is not always easy and not always fun. As a mother of four, I know what it is like to deal with the everyday pressures of being a mom; juggling the needs of my kids, meeting the demands of my professional life, tending to my relationship with my husband, folding the always present piles of laundry! Resilience and optimism are critical for my own well being, not just for the happiness of my children.
So, the first book we'll read in our Fishful Thinking SM Book Club is one I know well. It's called The Resilience Factor and I wrote it with my colleague, Dr. Andrew Shatté. In The Resilience Factor we describe the 7 key ingredients of resilience and we teach strategies for developing each one. We also have chapters on using resilience at work, in relationships, in parenting.
Guidelines:
As you read the book, here are some questions to think about and to discuss with your book group, your spouse or significant other.
Chapter 2: How Resilient Are You?
- Take the Resilience Quotient (RQ) Test and score.
- Which of the seven factors of resilience are your strengths?
- Which of the seven factors of resilience do you want to further develop?
Chapter 4: Learning Your ABCs
- Which Adversities push your buttons?
- How do these affect you when you are with your children? How would you like it to be in the future?
- What did you learn about yourself when you read about the B-C connections?
- Which emotions, if any, do you get stuck in?
- How do your emotions affect your children?
- What would you like to be different for you emotionally in the future?
Chapter 5: Avoiding Thinking Traps
- Which of the 8 Common Thinking Traps do you fall into most often? How do the Thinking Traps affect your resilience with your children?
- What are some things you can do to avoid falling into the Thinking Traps in the future?
Chapter 8: Putting It In Perspective
- What are some of the situations in which you tend to lose perspective? How does this affect your mood and behavior?
- What do you notice in terms of your energy and focus when you use the skill of Putting It In Perspective?
- What are ways that you can model Putting It In Perspective for your child?
Chapter 9: Calming and Focusing
- When do you feel most stressed?
- What are some of the techniques you use to help calm your emotions?
- Which of the Calming and Focusing skills are most powerful for you?
- What are some situations in which you can teach Calming and Focusing to your child?
Chapter 11: Resilience in Parenting
- How would you describe your parenting style: authoritarian, permissive or authoritative?
- What do you like and not like about your parenting style (authoritarian, permissive, authoritative)?
- What are you already doing in your family that promotes optimism and resilience?
- From which of the resilience skills will your child most benefit?
- How can you incorporate what you have learned from this book into your parenting style?