6. Empathy
Resilient children are connected with others. In fact, some of the landmark studies in resilience show that children who have at least one enduring relationship with a caring adult (a parent, a neighbor, a teacher, a coach) do well and can overcome even the most difficult hardships. Empathy is an important component of strong social relationships. Children who care about others, are interested in other people's feelings and experiences and want to help others through tough times are more likely to have strong, healthy friendships. Empathy serves resilience by facilitating strong relationships. Children who have a strong network of friends and adults who care about them have a support system that they can turn to when they need help.

7. Reaching Out
Resilient children take risks. I don't mean hurling themselves off mountain tops or riding motorcycles without helmets. I mean appropriate, horizon expanding risks. Children who are resilient don't see failure as something to be avoided. They are willing to try new things because deep down they know that by trying new things and taking risks they will learn more, achieve more, and enjoy life more. The risk taking might take the form of signing up for a hard class or talking with someone they've never met before or even just trying a new food. Their optimism fuels them and their self-efficacy gives them the confidence to try, even when that means risking failure.

Your Resilience Cupboard
Take a moment and reflect on the Seven Ingredients of Resilience. Make a list of the ingredients you have in abundance (your resilience strengths) and make a list of the resilience ingredients you are low on (your resilience weaknesses). Do the same for your child. Remember, we can all become more resilient tomorrow than we are today. You don't need to have your cupboard overflowing with each of the seven ingredients. Challenge yourself to use your resilience strengths more fully and see if you can devote some energy to increasing one of the ingredients you are low on.

For some simple strategies to help your child be more resilient, check out our Tool Box for:

Sources:

Gotlib, I.H., Lewinsohn, P.M., & Seely, J.R. (1995). Symptoms versus a diagnosis of depression: Differences in psychosocial functioning. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, //63,/ 90-100.

Reivich, K. J., Gillham, J. E., Chaplin, T. M., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2005), From helplessness to optimism: The role of resilience in treating and preventing depression in youth. In S. Goldstein & R. Brooks (Eds.), Handbook of Resilience in Children.

Reivich, K. and Shatte, A. (2003). The Resilience Factor: 7 keys to finding your inner strength and overcoming life's hurdles. New York: Broadway Books.